Saber Tales (Story 1, Part 1)

Once upon a time,

…Wait, is it once upon a time with a U or is it once apon a time with an A? Two sentences in and I’m already F-ing this up. Anyways, where was I? Oh, right. Once upon a time, there lived a bumbling idiot collie with great big saber teeth.
…Wait, is it Saber or Sabre? Good Lord Almighty, I’m going to need a drink after this. Anyways, the bumbling sabertooth Collie worked as a local sheep hearder…Wait, is it herder or hearder? You know what, I’m just going to grab a dictionary. Wait, what am I thinking? Shepherd is the proper word.
So he was a local shepheard and although he was not smart, he had a heart of gold. Which is another way of saying he had nothing going for him. …T.B.C.